Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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