He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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