your thong is hanging out like whoa
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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