Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
