if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I wish there were birth control emojis
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
