I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
