Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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