"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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