whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
