So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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