sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
