I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
