maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
