And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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