I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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