sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
last night I used snow as a chaser
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Shame is for Republicans.
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