Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
