How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
