I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
