Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
