Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
