do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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