"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
