Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry Rakdos42 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.

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(916): View more from California

I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.

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(206): View more from Washington

What should I wear?

(808): View more from Hawaii

Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar

(206): View more from Washington

I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.

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(519): View more from Ontario

No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?

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(423): View more from Tennessee

If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.

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(705): View more from Ontario

I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother

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