Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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