when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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