Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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