people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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