It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
