ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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