In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
