I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
