it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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