We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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