apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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