Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
