things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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