as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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