my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
not ubering you a puppy
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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