Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
