Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
