All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
