Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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