i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I made him laugh his dick is mine
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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