I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
