Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
