I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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