What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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