Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
