Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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